Friday, March 18, 2011

A Delight for Sore Eyes

After informing my husband that I need to completely focus so that I can whip out this stream of thoughts, my eyes begin to itch and burn. My visual ability is impaired but my mental focus isn't so bad....unless the allergy medicine kicks in!
What is a delight for your eyes? Assuming that you can see clearly, what do you look at that gives you a sense of sheer delight? My desire to capture beauty is something that comes from my soul. That seed of desire was planted while I was young. As a child, I enjoyed looking at things closely, mainly because I didn't have much to distract me and I could use my imagination. A half of a walnut shell could be a baby's bed, for example. A flower could be an umbrella. When I became a "Grown Up", my husband gave me a Minolta camera. My capturing-beauty-on-film endeavor came alive!
Studying objects, faces, and scenery through a lens brings it, them closer to me. The delight for my eyes travels to my spirit and gives me a happy, satisfied feeling. By doing this, I believe at times, that I am also studying God. I see His creation up close and personal, which gives me tremendous respect and admiration for what He has done for us. I love Him and I want to be a good steward of my part of the earth, without worshipping the earth. I worship my God, the creator.
"...all that is in the world- the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions- is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away, along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever." 1 John 2:16,17
Someday, hopefully soon, God will give us a new earth that is fully bathed in His glory and righteousness. I will no longer need a camera to capture images in order to own the beauty. I will be owning it, seeing it with renewed, glorified eyes. THAT will be a delight like none other!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Beinng a Princess

My beautiful little grandgirl, Grace is already FIVE years young. She was so thrilled to receive this "Princess" dress that she twirled and twirled around. Yes, we admired her and watched her enjoy being the center of attention!

When I was five, I was not ever the center of attention. Not that I can remember, anyway. I had an older sister who required more help than I, and a baby sister who was the latest and cutest attraction. I simply was in the way. Or so it seemed. Therein began my quest, my need, to be loved and admired. It took many, many years before I EVer felt adequate or even admired. Or truly loved for who I was and am now.

A woman's soul can finally relax when she KNOWS that she is the apple of someone's eye, whatever that really means! The star that lights up the sky, the cherry in the pie, the beginning and end of a special someone's universe. That's all I ever wanted.

These days I am learning and accepting that my need is misplaced, as far as wanting a human to fill the void. Oh, let me assure you that I do own a big spot in my husband's heart and he fills a mighty large place in mine. But....I really and truly am not selfishly demanding that he treat me like a royal princess, fulfilling my every wish and making every one of my dreams come true! No human is capable of doing that. Not that I have ever seen, anyway.

The quest for contentment is to give up what you want and dig deeper to find out what kind of God-given desire is in your soul. As you let go of your own will and seek the Lord, praise and thank Him for who He is, worship Him and use your gifts and you will find that the void you thought you had is not there after all. The void I've thought I had was actually unused space that I had to allow God to fill. He has surprised me with His ways and the events He uses to grab my attention.

Because I am a woman and I was created after God's own image, I shall not allow the enemy to make me feel insignificant in this world. I shall continue to be a cheerleader for the women in my life, encouraging them to embrace the process of being perfected. Being a princess.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Steady Drip of Prayer

The snow has melted, the icicles have all dripped their way into the ground. Icicles are gorgeous, especially when they reflect different colors of the objects around them. While they are hanging with an invisible grip on the gutter or roof or even trees, they put on a quiet, mysterious show. They change shape. They look so very sincere.
As I talk to God, I think I am a bit like an icicle; steadily dripping, firmly hanging on. Not begging to be looked at or listened to, just quietly there, acknowledging who the Lord is. I trust that he hears me. I KNOW He does His will, no matter what I may want. I do ask for help for many people and for myself, knowing and believing that He will do what He does best.
Comfort comes in the middle of the night when I mentally throw up my hands (so as to not knock somebody in the face) and say, "Okay, I'm not going to fuss with this mess anymore. YOU know what's happening and only YOU can really fix it!" I can't even Play God. It's too exhausting. So like the icicle, I drip away into what seems like nothing, but actually still is something. Evaporated. Invisible. But really still there. In the state of memory, the truth in having been heard.